The Dirty Little Secret of Giving Too Much

I am currently quite pregnant with our first bundle of trouble.littlemonkey
I’m now over 37 weeks along, so we’re in the final ninth month of brewing this little monkey who could come any day.  Eeeeee!

Despite not even being outta the womb yet, this baby has become such a blessing for both Mr Relish and I already.

It sounds hell cheesy I know, but it’s true when they say having a baby is a blessing and totally changes your life.  I’m not talking from experience quite yet but getting up to this point in the pregnancy has come with many unexpected bumps and graces already.

And so far, the biggest and most obvious bump for me – aside from my #massive belly – has been my ignorance to the natural law of receiving.

Over the last few months I’ve really had to learn to put aside my constant need to give and allow others to have a chance to do so too, by gracefully accepting and learning to receive help and support…
Without guilt. Without embarrassment. Without offering something in return. And with graciousness.

I have struggled with this for years.  Actually, for my entire life so far.

belly36wksMy belly is massive.

I can no longer see my feet and cannot fathom where or how my body has sourced the never ending supply of skin to cover this ever expanding hot air balloon hooked up to my inner organs.

I’ve lost my belly button, most of my co-ordination, a good chunk of intellect plus a few of my ladylike manners – and thankfully Mr Relish is still looking after me like a Queen who has the right to rule his entire kingdom. #GratefulMuch?

I am not my typical, independent self and physically need help to get up from the couch, the floor and outta the bathtub.

This baby has made me knock over my blocks to receive and allow for the type of love, support and nurturing I have been appreciatively allowed to give to others in the past.  I didn’t know it, but I had been stopping others from experiencing the same joy from giving. And blocking my life’s own natural flow of give and take in the process.

In the wise words of Deepak Chopra (Spiritual Law of Giving & Receiving from Spiritual Laws of Success):

Every relationship is one of give and take. Giving engenders receiving, and receiving engenders giving. What goes up must come down; what goes out must come back. In reality, receiving is the same thing as giving, because giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And if you stop the flow of either, you interfere with nature’s intelligence.

The people who wish to share in our joy, and create their own joy through our new baby has been mind boggling, touching and inspirational.

We have received so many kind and generous gestures of support, gifts, love and tolerance from both friends and strangers – it blows me away.
I haven’t been able to stop it, block it, return it or resist it.  I had to eventually just accept it.

And this changed me and my entire outlook on giving.

swingnature

Who knew people could be so amazing, right when you needed them to be? Accepting without question. Giving without expectation. When you allow them to.

Who knew the Universe could provide exactly what you sorely needed if you just had the courage to actually ask for it and be open to receive it? Gracefully. Humbly. Openly.

Some of us (i.e. me) take a little longer to realise these things. Have a few more protective boundaries.  A lot more control issues. And too much mistrust.

Like I’ve mentioned, until now I haven’t been able to properly receive – ever.
I was always too busy trying to give or counter-give something else to release my guilt, hide my embarrassment and block any chance of actually receiving.
What I’ve recently figured out, is what I’ve really been doing is blocking any chance of being worthy of been given to.

That is the dirty little secret of constantly needing to give.  And then not allowing to receive.

You’re actually hiding a lack of self worth.

And in the process you’re blocking your own chance for the Universe to nurture you with a life of abundance, balance and prosperity.

If you wanna be able to give wholeheartedly you gotta be able to receive, comfortably, just as much. ‪#‎naturalLaw‬ ‪#‎balance‬

When I used to sell my relish at markets, I really struggled to accept the full price for a jar even though I knew it was a top quality, filled-with-love, priced-fair product.  When a customer would buy more than one or two jars I would then offer a discount, a free jar, a free bag, a free mug or give away an extra SOMETHING because I just couldn’t comfortably allow my customers to freely give something worthwhile to me.
Sadly, blocking the natural flow of giving and receiving, and disallowing any chance of balancing my own “give bucket”.

I’ve always been too busy giving, too busy blocking, too busy being embarrassed, too busy feeling guilty, too busy breaking the balance.
That is, until now.

I’ve found lately that when you open up, release your blocks, allow what is and let others share in your world, life really does become quite magical.

The blessings we receive in life are meant to be acknowledged, shared, given, received and ultimately… relished. Touché!

Crazily, it has taken this baby for me to truly see how I’ve been blocking this balance all my life and that I am worthy of being given to.
Just as much as you are, and everyone else for that matter.
So stop blocking those gifts the Universe and others send you – breathe them in, soak them up, accept them over and keep them close!

Today I will gratefully receive all the gifts that life has to offer me. I will receive the gifts of nature: sunlight and the sound of birds singing, or spring showers or the first snow of winter. I will also be open to receiving from others, whether it be in the form of a material gift, money, a compliment or a prayer.

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